I am the second wife and a step mom.
I accepted this long ago.
Now that we have a child in elementary school, I realize that not everyone knows that Frank and I raised a child. It’s sort of funny to see their faces when I tell them that Sydney has a sister. The girls are 15 years apart so it’s not like anyone would really realize that they are siblings unless one of us/the girls told you.
Sometimes when I tell people about our family, they don’t know what to say or ask a few questions. Sometimes when I tell people, they open up about their situation which is usually similar.
It makes me happy that I am able to offer opinions or experiences to help them through their situation. Sometimes I am amazed how people open up about their life once they know I’m the second wife and that I’ve endured watching my step daughter go through hard situations with their other parent.
There have been times when I wondered what I had gotten myself into. Looking back, it wasn’t the easiest thing I’ve ever done, but the bond our girls share and the teenage years I’ve already lived through, make me know that it was the right thing. (And they make me know that I can live through those teenage years again – maybe even a little wiser.)
Hindsight is 20/20 and there are definitely situations over the years that I wish I would have dealt with differently but from those situations, I have learned and if I can take what I have learned and help someone else, I’m happy to do so. Parenting is difficult when you have a happy marriage. Parenting is way more difficult when you have separate parents in separate homes. It’s sometimes difficult to do, but remember the kids. In the end, happy marriage or not, they are watching us and learning how to behave in the rest of their life.