Still a Small Town Girl

I left Cedar Grove way back when thinking I was moving to the big city. I swore that I was going to get away from that small town and the everyone knows everyone story of that small town. Well, once again today, I learned that Milwaukee and my little suburb are not so big after all. The son of my HS gym teacher, Mr. Moore teaches at Syd’s elementary school. He’s a fifth grade teacher.

The high school choir director of my high school, Mr. Kieffer is the high school choral director in our burb.

Wait, it gets better. Sydney’s morning care teacher, Mrs. B.? Her parents live in Cedar Grove. Her husbands parents lived in Port Washington – where much of my mom’s family and my cousins still reside. When Mrs. B and her husband were first married, they also lived in Port Washington. She started listing Cedar Grove last names like it was nothing.

We laughed hard when we figured that out and that she knows my Uncle Jim and more in the Melichar bunch.

Small town USA at it again.

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The first time I saw…

The first time I saw him. It was fall. We were at work. The days were long. His eyes. They were brown not blue like I first thought. He was tall. It was love. He knew it last.

*This is a response to a 33 word prompt. A Trifecta writing challenge.

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Finding me

And then it was the eleventh of January. A new year, eleven days in. I had┬áhave big plans for the year. But really there’s not big. At work they are as simple as taking a disconnected from work vacation and cleaning off my desk. We are a generally a paperless office except I feel like mine is paper-full.

At home my plans are for this blog. 100 posts for the year. That’s as simple as two a week. I’m already late. Other plans are getting and keeping my mind and body fit. Less twitter and more reading.

Realizing that maybe I need professional help to deal with this feeling I have. The feeling that I blame on too much caffeine or not enough sleep. The feeling of being always overwhelmed and unable to catch my breath. The feeling that I can’t because there’s just to much. It seems that I may have also passed this feeling on to Sydney. She gets wound. We take deep breaths and then both feel calmer. Maybe the goal here is more calm.

Over the years, I’ve implemented the one and done policy or the idea that it will only take 10 minutes whatever it is. It works well so I’d like more of that. I believe that tricking my brain will help me feel more calm.

This week of winter was brutal. Extreme cold and now ice. The cabin fever has set in for all of us. A birthday party for Syd later and I’m headed to the gym. I’ve already thought of 100 reasons why I can’t go. There’s only one good reason to go. Me. And that’s a really good reason.

2014 will be the year I find me again, because somewhere I’ve been lost.

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One of the Lucky Ones

The sick has been stuck in my body since the end of October. I toughed it out for two weeks before finally heading for the doctor. Now, I’ve ran through a week of antibiotics and I’m still not feeling better. Three weeks and counting.

I’m also having issues feeling like I’m eating enough. I can hear it now:

“You don’t eat enough.”

“You’re too skinny.”

“Go eat a cheeseburger.”

“Have a bowl of ice cream.”

I’ve heard this my whole life. Before you say it again, hear me out. I love being thin. I’ve had long talks with my doctor about my weight and he and I believe that I am on target for my height and bone structure. In other words, I’m lucky. I also know that my metabolism is fast, meaning that eating good balanced meal will leave me ravaging for food just three hours later. It’s just how I work. Need a snack? Check my desk drawer(s).

There are days, like today, where I feel worn out, hungry, and achy. I know it’s from this cold that just won’t go away. There are also days where I can feel exhaustion in my bones. I’m a working mom and wife. Some days, I forget about me. Some days there is no balance – it’s all about others and not about me. Some days, I know I just don’t eat enough. That’s the life I live as a mom to a 4 year old and the wife of a Type 1 Diabetic. Some days are just hard.

Today is a day where I could eat all day, and still not feel full. Something tells me it’s because my body is fighting off this cold with all it’s might so I can be well. Something also tells me that it won’t last forever. But in days like this, I feel so tired and hungry and achy, it’ shard to remember that I am a healthy person – and one of the lucky ones.

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